History Today
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DB: Good evening and welcome to History Today.
I have been informed that we *must*, on tonight's programme, make every endeavour to stick with an academic discipline to tonight's topic - Church and State. Professor Lewis,...
RN: Well, you must remember that for a large part of our country's history church and state were effectively one. This spiritual bureaucracy is reflected in the severity of monastic orders at the time. Under the terms of his oath a Benedictine Monk, for example, could not only never have sexual relations with a woman, nor did her ever talk to a woman, nor even approach within 50 yards of a woman.
DB: I am aware of the scriptures.
RN: That's you on your 18-30 holiday, that is.
DB: Of course Charles the First was executed in a dispute {picks up book}
essentially concerning Church and State. Hansard records that following his guillotining {reads from book} The body jerked around grotesquely for 20 seconds. Writhing about in a pitiful display, his arms and legs shooting this way and that uncontrollably, as the gathered crowd laughed and spat at him.

{puts book down} and that's you dancing, that is. {waves arms around and sings}
That's the way , uh huh uh huh. I like it, uh huh uh huh.."
RN: See an old chipped saucer lying against a brick wall in an alley way?
DB: Is it a green saucer from an institutional tea set?
RN: Yes and it's gone brown where some tea has stained the white bit.
DB: {trying not to laugh} I have seen such an item of discarded bric-a-brac.
RN: That's your satellite dish, that is.
DB: The Monarch who could be said to have truly united Church and State was Elizabeth the First. Her power was iconically linked with her refusal to marry, so that it became part of her mythology that she remained inviolable, known to all as the Virgin Queen.
RN: Yes.
DB: That's you, that is. That's your most manly nickname.
RN: Essentially throughout our history there has been a constant pouch (?)
leading from Church to State, from State to Church, thus {waves hand

in front of face} and then back again once more.
DB: I am aware of the continual fluctuation.
RN: And that's what everyone does when they stand down wind from your mum. {waves hand in front of face again} Oh, cor blimey! Poo....
DB: In the present day the balance seems to have shifted to State but today's secessionist society is perhaps conditioned by an awareness of our temporal instability. Why, when this very land on which the battle between Church and State was, for so many years, fought is continually being eroded by the sea. And cliffs are moving back by a rate of 4 metres per year.
RN: I am aware of the topographical crisis.
DB: And that's how fast you run. That's you on Sports Day.
Well, I don't think anyone can be in any doubt that tonight myself and

Professor Lewis have had a most incisive debate.
Professor Lewis,
thankyou very much.
RN: Thankyou.


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